by Valerie Erde

I was recently asked what it takes for a high school student to become a successful college applicant. What's the secret to getting in — especially to highly competitive schools?

I get asked this a lot, but this time I found myself thinking about the question not in the abstract, but in relation to specific kids with whom I’ve worked. I've spent time teaching them, but what could they teach me about getting into college?

To find out, I reached out to some of my smart, talented, kind — and also very successful! — former high school students to learn the secrets of their success.

1. They Are Proactive About Their High School Years  

All of my most successful students had one big thing in common: They took the reins and created their own learning and extra curricular experiences in high school. Success didn't just happen to them; they went out and took charge of working toward their goals. They relied far less on extrinsic motivation provided by their parents and much more on their own intrinsic motivation.  Additionally, they learned that being proactive means knowing when and how to “lean in” for opportunities (especially true for young women and introverts) and/or to ask for help if after trying on their own for some time, they’re still struggling.

Successful students have goals and make plans for the future. This doesn’t necessarily mean having the next decade mapped out in detail, but it does mean having some firm ideas for where they want to be in two to three years’ time. Some important questions to ask to guide this line of thinking:

• What disciplines do you enjoy learning about, taking classes in? 

• How might you deepen your learning in favorite or new areas?

• Where might you want to go to college? 

• What do you need to achieve now to make that possible?

2. They (Mostly) Put Academics First  

Attend a live or virtual info session for pretty much any college, and one thing immediately becomes clear: The Transcript Is King™. It's the most important thing admissions officers look at when making decisions.

Successful applicants put first things first: They prioritize long-term goals over having fun in the moment. That doesn’t mean never hanging out with friends, watching TV or gaming, but it does mean putting things in the proper order. So focus on completing homework first and then relax when the work is done. 

Also, the rigor of your coursework matters - a lot. Colleges are looking for you to challenge yourself academically, so don’t “dumb down” your transcript by taking easier classes if you can handle harder ones. (Keep in mind that unless you are truly on track to become a professional athlete, when coaches tell you to take easier classes it helps them, not you.)

The bottom line? Focus on taking rigorous classes and do well in them.  

3. They Develop Good Study Habits and Organizational Skills

In addition to prioritizing studying, good students also make sure they do it right. They avoid distractions and turn off their phones to fully focus on the task at hand. As a result, they often get assignments done more quickly and to a better standard.

Successful students also spend the bulk of their study and revision time on effective learning and study techniques. In particular, they use retrieval practice to bring information to mind (think active quizzing yourself vs. passive re-reading or highlighting). They know that these techniques may take a bit more effort than lower-quality ones, but they also know their efforts will be richly rewarded with improved retention and reduced stress because they avoid last-minute panics and cramming.

Developing organizational and time management skills may include things such as creating to-do lists, keeping calendars and/or using watches/timers, and having a system to keep papers and homework organized.  High school is also a good time to work on time management skills. Ask your child to estimate how long a task will take to complete.  When done with the task compare the estimated time with the actual time it took to complete the task. Estimating the time accurately is an essential skill for long-term goals and planning.

4. They Commit to Something And Deepen Their Involvement 

Colleges aren’t looking for a Jack- or Jill-of-All-Trades because (as the saying goes) they are masters of none. Instead, colleges want students who are truly interested in something specific and demonstrate that interest by striving for excellence. In the pursuit of excellence, they deepen their skills and interest, becoming leaders in the process.

Activities should be about fun, but they should also provide plenty of opportunities to learn life lessons about teamwork and resilience.  Whether the activity is orchestra or lacrosse, debate team or woodworking, it's your commitment to personal growth that matters. 

For an example of how doing a deep dive into an area of interest makes for a more impressive college applicant, compare two local students below:

Colin, from Rye, NY

• Trumpet player, 8 years

• Student Government, Treasurer, 2 years

• Cross-Country team member, 2 medals

• Hospital volunteer, 50 hours

Sara, from Wilton, CT

• Trumpet player, 8 years

• Trumpet instructor, 3 years

• Music Director of jazz ensemble that performs all over Connecticut 

• Organizer of an annual music festival that raises funds to support instrument purchases and music lessons for financially challenged musicians in her town.

• Member Model UN, 3 years, two delegate awards

Notice that Colin has a wider range of activities, but Sara has deeper experience in music that has led her not only to participate, but to lead activities and even create new opportunities that help others.

5. They Are Curious, Insatiable Learners

Successful students — and, by extension, successful college applicants — really want to learn more about the world around them. They know that learning isn't confined to the classroom, but happens everywhere. A few good ways to extend learning:

• Reading widely, both fiction and non-fiction 

• Participating in “dinner-table” conversations with family and peers

• Keeping up with local, state, national, or international current events

Despite what you may have heard, top colleges are looking for kids who can do more than just excel at one subject. While strong STEM students will always be impressive, colleges also want deep thinkers and communicators who are intellectually well-rounded. It’s important to show that you are engaged in all sorts of topics and actively interested in the world around you. 

6. They Are Leaders Who Forge Their Own Paths 

You don’t want to choose your extra-curricular activities with the sole purpose of trying to figure out what admissions people will want to see. Be unique! If your interests lie in something unusual such as bread-baking, performing magic, writing anime novels, or playing the harp, that's great. (Yes, these are from students I worked with.) Even if your interest isn’t particularly unusual - maybe you like/need to work, or you help out at home  - try to bring something unique or extra to what you’re doing.  For example, one former student of mine  - now at Princeton - was into architecture and home design shows and websites; she spent her summers working at her local real estate office and “stepped up” by helping them redesign their marketing materials.

Any activity can be used to develop your personal skills, whether it's commonly offered after school, or something you have to seek out elsewhere. 

7. They Build Personal Relationships  

Teacher and counselor recommendations are crucial parts of the college application. The difference between a good recommendation letter and a great one often comes down to you getting to know your teachers and/or counselor outside of the classroom — especially if you are an introvert or don’t participate much in class. If you can get involved in something at your school that enables you to work with a teacher outside of class, or for more than one year, do it! 

Remember, the connections you make don't have to be academic in nature. You could have a teacher for a class and also participate in a club they advise. You might also seek out faculty members who have shared interests, whether it's politics, music, fantasy football, or knitting and who aren’t your teacher. When a teacher or counselor really knows you, that person is able to write you a far more meaningful recommendation letter.  (Tip: it can also help you get a better grade in a class.)

8. They Strive to Be Good Citizens

According to research conducted by the National Association for College Admission Counseling (NACAC), over 70% of respondents — which included 447 college admissions officers — say that positive character attributes are of moderate or considerable importance in the admissions process. 

So what do positive character attributes look like? For starters, successful students know that a rising tide lifts all boats. That means that when one person does well, everyone benefits. To this end, they actively work to be good, supportive classmates by exchanging resources and explaining tricky concepts to a friend.   

They also help their teachers by being open about what they still don’t understand, despite making best efforts independently. This type of openness and humility makes it easier to learn, and it certainly makes it easier for teachers to provide extra help when needed. 

9. They Take Care of Themselves 

Successful students take time to look after themselves, so they can continue to be effective, day after day, year after year. That means looking after both physical and mental health by: 

• Eating a balanced, nutritious diet

• Getting exercise throughout the week

• Having a regular bedtime to get enough sleep 

• Reserving some time to relax and unwind

• Cultivating kind, warm relationships with family and friends

We all want to be liked and to help others out, but sometimes you have to say no, whether it's to a party the night before the SATs or to one more extra-curricular activity.  Teens often want to cheat sleep, but that ultimately has a negative effect on academic and athletic performance, as well as mood. Successful students strike a balance between work, play, and rest.

10. When the Going Gets Tough, They Persevere

Finally, successful students are resilient and deploy deliberate, sustained effort to work through frustration when things seem too hard. It's easy to give up on something when it's not easy, but that path doesn't lead to happiness — and it certainly doesn't impress a college admissions office. This doesn’t mean, of course, that you never ask for help, but you want to at least try 

The most successful students know there is always room for growth, so they aren't daunted by failure. They maintain a growth mindset by retiring the phrase, "I can't do it" and embracing the phrase, "I can't do it yet."