How To Write A Compelling College Essay
Writing your Common Application essay can be daunting. I know, because I hear anxiety-laced questions from my students (and their parents) all the time: How can I convey who I am in just 650 words? Which prompt should I use? What exactly should I write about? What if I’m not interesting? How do I even begin?
It’s difficult to examine your life, parse out the important themes, identify anecdotes that will make for an engaging story, and boil everything down into a relatively short piece — especially when the writing students are used to doing for their high school classes is very different.
I’m here to help!
Former Princeton Admissions Reader and founder of KS College Success, Kate Sonnenberg, says “there are no bad topics; there’s only bad execution. The best essays show genuine reflection -- that you grew personally from an experience or event, or developed insights about yourself or others. And they should also showcase how you are unique.” I agree with this completely.
That’s why I’ve written this post: to help you unearth and write an engaging story that shows admissions officers your personality, character traits, and aspirations for the future. Below are several tips that will guide you through the process of composing your main Common Application Personal Statement essay.
It’s a really long post, but I’ve divided it into two main sections:
Finding Your Story (the what)
Telling Your Story (the how)
Finding Your Story
Write About Something Meaningful - To You (Not Your Parents)
The Common App. essay is a prime opportunity to show admissions officers who you are, what makes you tick, what matters to you. Admissions officers care about more than just your grades and scores; they want to get a sense of your personality. When written well, the Common App. essay can provide them with this insight. According to this New York Times article, “when it comes to writing the essays, in particular, college admissions officers care about who students are. The essays should reveal their personalities, passions, dreams, weird talents, favorite foods, sickest playlists, inexplicable loves, and undeniable quirks.”
“Tell the story you want to tell, not the one you think will impress.”
Parents or other close family members, your guidance counselor, a favorite teacher, or friends can all be excellent resources, but the single most important piece of advice I can give is to write about something that’s meaningful — to you. Sometimes, well-meaning parents suggest topics that they feel their children "should" write about, but if the topic doesn’t resonate with the writer, it won’t make for a good essay. I see this time and again, and what often happens is that it ends up taking twice as long to get to a completed essay.
What Does "Meaningful" Mean Anyway?
The topic can be anything – really – a relationship with a family member, an extracurricular activity, an aspect of your personality, a moment of personal growth. It can be some completely mundane aspect of your life, as long as it lets you show your unique interests and traits. One of my students (who was admitted to Duke, UVA, and Princeton, et. al.) wanted to write her college essay about how much she enjoyed folding clothes. Her parents were initially very skeptical about that topic, but after I read the first draft, I knew that if she could find a way to connect this relatively ordinary activity (which she had been doing long before Marie Kondo), to other aspects of her personality and life, it would end up being a truly memorable essay. It was.
Ask Yourself & Others Questions That Dig Deep
Because “meaningful topic” is such a broad category, the first thing to do is to narrow the possibilities. Start by posing some of these questions to yourself:
What matters to me? What do I care about?
What is unique about me? (How am I different from my siblings, my friends?)
What motivates me or puts me in a state of “flow?”
How have I changed throughout my life? Have I learned any lessons?
Ask Others For A “You” Suggestion, Not A Topic Suggestion
Rather than asking other people for a topic suggestion, ask for a "you" suggestion. Your parents and friends have been outside observers of you for some time, so they may see things that you overlook. Try asking them what they think is your strongest personality trait, what makes you unique in their eyes, or what they find most interesting about you.
Sometimes Parents Do Know (You) Best: Example
One time I was working with a young lady who was having trouble coming up with an idea. Her mom was in the background, listening in on our FaceTime brainstorming session, and chimed in with “what about writing an essay on your feelings about being short?” My student was facing me, so her mom couldn’t see the mortified look that came over her face. After a couple of attempts writing about other topics, this student ended up writing a really nice essay about her feelings around being “small,” but also about how she dealt with it, and how she finally came to realize that she didn’t have to let her height define her, nor define her impact in the world.
Making Lists Can Help
It also helps to list activities, people, and things that you love. But remember that an extracurricular activity, family member, or important event is just a vehicle for you to talk about yourself. Choosing what you write about is only the first step.
So, once you make your list of personality traits and interests, the next step is to figure out why you consider them important. Did an art class you took help you realize the value of persistence? Did your time on the lacrosse team teach you a lesson about communication? It’s critical that you write about yourself and who you are, and not just regurgitate your resume, because admissions officers will see your grades, test scores, awards, and activity list in other sections of the Common Application.
Once you’ve got a good list, it’s often helpful to start writing a few different essays. You may be very close to your grandmother, but it might be easier for you to write about the time when you messed up an important audition. Try out several topics and see what fits.
Finding Your Story: An Example
I’ll share an example from a former student of mine who was accepted to Yale as an Early Action applicant. Music was one of her greatest passions, and she spent much of her time outside of school playing her instrument, the clarinet. She decided she wanted to write about her experience with clarinet because it was one of the most meaningful aspects of her life. This was the “what” of her essay. But she couldn’t just talk about how much time she spent playing music. She also had to share what she’d learned from music, how it had changed and impacted her, and why she loved it so much. She needed to go beyond the “what” and include the “why.” In the end, she wrote about how playing clarinet (and doing science research) had taught her the value and necessity of patience, and had changed the way she approached life. Her essay wasn’t about music — or science — it was about her.
Don’t Worry About The Prompts
If the prompts help you think and focus, great! But remember, every year the last Common App prompt allows you to write an essay on a topic of your choice. So, no matter what you write, it will fit one, or several, prompts. Sometimes, I’ll talk with students and parents who are very focused on the specific Common App prompts for a given year. They’ll try to shape their essays around the prompts, and this often limits their brainstorming. But here’s the secret: You can write about anything. So, forget the prompts; focus on aspects of your life and personality that speak to you.
Do Not Write About COVID-19 For Your Main Essay
…unless you must because you’ve had some truly extraordinary experience. The Common App. has added a 250-word optional question to the Additional Info Section as follows:
“Community disruptions such as COVID-19 and natural disasters can have deep and long-lasting impacts. If you need it, this space is yours to describe those impacts. Colleges care about the effects on your health and well-being, safety, family circumstances, future plans, and education, including access to reliable technology and quiet study spaces.”
Do you wish to share anything on this topic? Y/N
Please use this space to describe how these events have impacted you.
This quote from an admissions rep pretty much sums it up: “My takeaway from the new, optional COVID essay section is that colleges would prefer that your main essay focus on something else. It’s not that you absolutely can't write about quarantine, but you really want to think back to the other 95% of your life.”
Telling Your Story
You May Use Several Examples, But You Need One Main Idea
One of the most challenging aspects of writing the Common App essay is identifying your main point. I often see students whose initial essay drafts have multiple main ideas or themes, which can make the essay confusing. For example, one student I worked with wrote a draft about his growing from being less to more confident, learning how to communicate more effectively, and learning how to be less self-critical — all in one essay! Each one of these could have resulted in a really interesting essay, but it was too much for one. You should be able to sum up your main point about you in one or two sentences.
Topic vs. Main Idea
Any of you who have worked with me on ACT/SAT reading know that we spend a lot of time talking about topic vs. main point. After we’ve read a passage, I’ll generally ask students, “In one sentence, tell me what the main point is.” While the topic can be named in just a word or two, the main point answers the question “Why do I care?” about the topic.
This can be a helpful way to flesh out your essay. Think about your chosen essay topic, and in one sentence, write down the most significant point that you’re trying to convey in your essay. Pretend this is an essay you’re writing for a class in school and that you are trying to develop your thesis statement.
I’ll use the example of my former student again. Her essay could be boiled down into one sentence:
Topic Main Idea
Music I often try to run before I can walk. Music helped me develop an important personal quality: patience.
After identifying your main idea, cut out other big themes that might compete with this main idea. Admissions officers read these essays quickly, so you want them to be able to clearly grasp what you are trying to say about yourself.
Now this doesn’t mean you cannot mention more than one extracurricular, hobby, or event in your essay. You should spend most of your essay talking about one topic, but you can broaden your scope if you’d like. This can be particularly effective at the end of your piece.
Weaving In Other Topics/Activities While Sticking With Your Main Idea
Here is a snippet of my student’s essay on the main point of patience. You’ll notice that she incorporated other interests, in addition to playing an instrument, that helped her learn the value of developing this personality trait:
“Now, patience serves me well in other areas of my life, as ironically, many of the things I enjoy require a work ethic based on diligence, focus, and restraint. Pipetting solutions into well plates, waiting for cells to finish incubating, and running a Western Blot: all the techniques that are used in my dream career as a biological researcher require patience. I have learned to fight the siren song of the end of a novel and to wait until after my homework is finished to eat dessert, because some things are more satisfying the longer you wait for them. Calculus, my worst subject, has even become enjoyable with the right amount of time and effort, and I’m now able to make better decisions by sitting back and thinking instead of acting rashly.”
The bulk of her essay tells the story of her trying to master a difficult piece of music too quickly and realizing that impatience won’t serve her well. In this final paragraph, she brings in other activities; yet, notice how her message remains consistent: I’ve learned that patience is an important personal quality.
If you are going to mention multiple aspects of your life, make sure they all tie into your main idea.
Use Details To Make Your Essay Come Alive & Draw Us In
(Aka show, don’t tell.) I often find that students are good at writing general, “big idea,” sentences but have trouble incorporating details into their essay. Try to make your essay as vivid as possible. If you can paint a detailed picture of your surroundings, interpersonal relationships, or state of mind, admissions officers will be far more engaged in your essay. Share how kind your grandmother’s eyes are. Describe the wind, trees, and other surroundings from your most challenging hike. Mention the soft hands and smile of gratitude of the person you’ve helped sit down. Transport your readers into your world as much as possible.
Adjectives and descriptive language — such as similes, metaphors, and personification — help make your essay more exciting, though you don’t want to go overboard and add descriptive language to every sentence. Anecdotes are critical as well. Instead of talking generally about how much you enjoyed your debate team, pick a specific moment that resonated with you. Maybe you were arguing with someone over nuclear proliferation in North Korea (and yes, you should include details like the topic, your opponent’s name, and the tournament). If you can replace a word or phrase with something more specific, do it.
Here’s an example from a student who had interned at a local candidate’s office that demonstrates how to replace a general statement with something more detailed:
Before “Sometimes, I had debates with prospective voters.”
After “Sometimes, I entered intense, hour-long debates with prospective voters who were understandably upset about concerns ranging from immigration to sidewalks.
Again, think about this like an academic essay. You need supporting evidence to back up your thesis statement, otherwise your argument won’t be persuasive.
Here are a few more examples from the essay about music and patience:
Kathy, with her eyes that crinkled up when she smiled, was the one who grounded me. During one lesson in her cozy, cluttered studio, she noticed the tears that were welling up in my eyes.
Eager to see the world, I skipped crawling completely, preferring to run on my wobbly legs, clumsy as a newborn foal (and suffering numerous cuts and bruises).
Watching Sabine Meyer and Martin Frost perform the Weber concerto on YouTube, I was mesmerized by the effortless way their fingers glided over the silver keys.
I've highlighted examples of descriptive language that bring this essay to life. Notice that they don't have to be long! Think of it as sprinkling salt over your essay for flavor — you want just the right amount.
Be Insightful, Not Superficial
Using specific details automatically makes your essay less superficial, but what I’m really talking about here is showing some insight and depth of thinking. In medicine, it would be the equivalent of merely managing symptoms vs. getting at the underlying cause of the problems. I call it "getting to the why of the why's." If you can no longer ask any “why” questions, then you’ve gotten to the bottom of things!
Being Insightful By Getting to the “Why of the Why’s” Example
Student: I love creating things.
Me: Why
Student: Because It’s fun.
Me: That’s great, but a lot of people enjoy creating things, why do you enjoy it?
Student:My drive to create shapes my view of the world and gives me an outlet when I face self-doubt.
Me: Okay now, we’re getting somewhere. How so?
Student: Turning creativity into action helped me solve a longstanding policy issue at my school, launch a business that helped my community, and turn my jazz piano playing from stilted to memorable.
Me: Now we've gotten to the root of the issue, and there's some insight about why the writer behaves the way he does. This is the type of depth that will make for a successful Common App essay.
(This student was accepted to Columbia, Georgetown, Harvard, Wash U. and Yale, among others.)
Write in Your Own Voice
Remember, admissions officers want to get a sense of who you are through your essay. More than anything, your essay should sound like you, not like anyone else – not your mom or your dad, your teacher, a college counselor. Add in descriptions, but don’t try to stuff your essay full of complicated, advanced words. Write conversationally, emulating the way you talk every day (though perhaps with a little more polish). Your tone should be mature, but also personal and authentic.
It’s okay to inject a bit of humor into your writing and let your personality shine through. In fact, it’s more than okay. Humor can make your essay more engaging and memorable. Just use a light touch — it's an essay, not a comedic sketch.
“If you’re funny, be funny! If you’re not funny, don’t be funny.”
Again, we’ll return to my former student’s essay. Her language isn’t too complex, and her tone is authentic and slightly playful:
Sitting still was torture; I fidgeted endlessly (a trait I received from my dad), and the confines of the sandbox never cut it for me when there was the entirety of New York City to explore. I had better things to do—chasing pigeons, petting dogs, plopping into the laps of strangers; these were just some of my favorite activities, a far cry from those of other children who were content building sandcastles.
Notice how she lightly pokes fun at herself and other children and adds a bit of sass when she says she had "better things to do." You can add even more humor into your essay if you wish, as long as it fits with naturally into what you’re writing about and who you are.
You Don’t Need A Title
You may include a title if you’d like, and if you think it helps lend intrigue or clarity to your story, but it’s better to have no title than to have a bad one.
Edit, Proofread & Check Your Tone
Remember, the best writing is edited – several times! This is one of my favorite recent articles about editing your own work. Be sure to give yourself plenty of time to brainstorm, write, and rewrite before your application deadline! And don’t forget to proofread your work (printed out version is best for that) and to have at least one other person proofread it before you submit!
“Proofread! It’s so disappointing if I read an essay that says I can’t wait to go to XYZ University and it’s the name of a different school than mine.”
We’re not always good at intuiting how our tone comes across to others – especially to people who don’t know us. You may write something that is funny or sarcastic; someone who knows and appreciates your dry or offbeat sense of humor, will totally get it. But remember that an admissions officer may not.
“A great way to check for tone, flow, and grammatical errors is to have someone read your essay out loud to you, or for you to read it out loud. It may seem awkward or weird, but you’ll hear how you might sound to the reader.”
Parting Words & Extra Help
Give yourself the time and thoughtfulness you need to shine, and it will show in your writing. And when you’re ready to move onto writing your supplemental essays, read our post about the 5 most common pitfalls to avoid when writing them here.
I hope you found these tips helpful. And remember, I am always here to help if you need some extra guidance or want to brainstorm ideas click here to learn more about our Common App. Essay & Supplement process.
For some college essay humor, I love this Paul Rudnick piece that appeared in the New Yorker.